Dumb Porn Names

I’m sure those of you that love classic porn remember many of the movies with nostalgic fondess. That’s all good and well, but that doesn’t excuse the last few generations for these dumb porn names. So, here’s the top 10 offenders (i.e. the first 10 that really jumped out at me). As always, feel free to leave some suggestions in the comments!

1. Gigalo Juice - First thought - Gigalo Juice, the New Energy Drink! The second was reading the description on this 1989 porno - “The story of a penis with an envy!”. Uh…alrighty then.
2. Starship Intercourse - The nerd in me screams at the blasphemy - the pervert in me wonders if they happened to work a Spock sex scene in there.
3.  Supertung - Just look at the post graphic - do I need to explain why this is up here?
4. 4. Who Came In the Backdoor? - First thought - It was the butler in the library with the candle stick! Second thought - shitty porn pun crits you for 5000000 damage.
5. Double Whammy - First though - No whammy no whammy no whammy and……………stop! Second thought - FUCK WHAMMY GODDAMNIT.
6. Lesbionic Woman - Lesbian = good. Bad porn pun = bad. Sorry Amber Lynn, you fail this time around.
7. Roll X Girls - This is bad enough, but then you a) see the cover with the chick with like 6 watches on, b) read the box cover “She has time on her hands. Do You? and finally, c) read the description “t’s beautiful call girls who service only the wealthy status seekers with Rollies on their wrists. When the morning comes, the girl is gone and so is the watch.” You know, I’m all for story in my porn - so long as the story isn’t completely retarded. Sounds like a new category here - dumb porn plots (that one might take me the rest of my life, though…)
8. Beefeaters - The carnivore special of classic porn - no vegans allowed!
9. Screwples - When all else fails, go straight for the throat with shitty puns!
10. Programmed for Pleasure - And here we have the real doll of the 70s!

Hey, we made it through an entire list without curling up into the fetal position. Badass!